Cancel Culture and Deficiencies in Church Hierarchy - Some Thoughts

 As we reach the end of the year, a lot has been on my mind regarding the state of our Church.  One major incident that caught my attention and motivated me to write this was the laicizing of a very prominent Catholic priest, Fr. Frank Pavone.  Fr. Pavone is the key leader in the Priests for Life organization, and he has perhaps done more for the sanctity of life than anyone I know.   Also, during the whole COVID mess and the subsequent weeks I was unable to attend Mass regularly due to lack of transportation (I have things to say about that too later, believe me!) Fr. Frank was a lifesaver - I watched his Masses on YouTube and he was a tremendous blessing to me.  He had very sound and inspiring homilies, and there was a comfort I got just watching him celebrate Mass.  However, there are recent events that robbed many of us - including Fr. Frank - of that, and I will give a brief synopsis of that now followed by some commentary. 

Fr. Frank Pavone

At the end of November, the Vatican laicized (let's be honest - they defrocked him!) Fr. Frank due to a couple of issues.  First, it entailed a comment on social media, where Fr. Frank replied in anger to someone supporting our inept President, Joe Biden, by saying "G** d**** Biden" or something to that effect.  The second had to do with him displaying an aborted baby on a table in his study to make a point about how damaging abortion is, and he was accused of putting a dead baby on an altar.  Fr. Frank soundly responded to these by noting that although he did take the Lord's name in vain, he confessed and repented of it and acknowledged he had a moment of weakness.  As for the aborted baby, it was not on an altar, but rather a sort of utility table in his office, and he also did provide the child with a proper burial and thus nothing technically was desecrated. Those are the facts that led to the decision to laicize him due to a charge of "blasphemy" and also something to do with defiance of his Ordinary Bishop. There are problems with this though, and I want to address those now. 

I want to take first the issue of Fr. Frank's use of the "GD" phrase.  Was it blasphemy?  I don't think so honestly.  Was it wrong? Yes, it was, but Fr. Frank also acknowledged that and took the appropriate steps to rectify it.   Also, Fr. Frank has not been opaque with what he did - he was very open and up-front about the whole thing, and that should be appreciated.  However, here's the rub on that.  Who in this world hasn't on occasion said or done something wrong??  Romans 3:23 reminds us that all of us have sinned and fallen short, and a guy with a collar is no exception - he is still a human being who, like the rest of us, relies on supernatural grace to elevate, heal, and perfect his concupiscent nature, which by the way we all have - read Genesis 3 again.  And, in all honesty, I have myself uttered some very volatile words in a moment of anger too - I have dropped an F-bomb or two on occasion, and I tend to beat the living crap out of my computer when it malfunctions, and I would not honestly repeat some of the names that I call it in my head!  And, like Fr. Frank, I have to also repent of that, and I do so in the proper way.  Bottom line is, while it in no way justifies the action, I believe that Fr. Frank handled himself properly and well, and therefore if Jesus forgives him, so should we.  In accusing him as they did, the bishops who sanctioned him over it forgot a very integral part of sacramental theology - once something is confessed and forgiven, grace has been imparted and the Blood of Christ covers the sin.  If the bishops (and I am speaking in particular of Bishop Zurek in Amarillo, who was Fr. Pavone's Ordinary and had a vendetta against him) cannot acknowledge the grace afforded by their own office, then that means they are bringing damnation upon themselves - remember, Bishop Zurek, the words of Jesus - He told us that if we are unable to forgive, He will not forgive us.  So, Bishop, perhaps Dante's prophetic words in The Inferno apply to you - one day, your skull will pave the path to hell unless you repent of your unforgiveness.  I have a feeling that Dante knew what he was talking about, considering how many bureaucrats and political hacks there are right now in the hierarchy of our Church - it is a scandal.  Not to mention the sex perverts that they let run rampant in parishes and seminaries.  It is sick, and it is a reason so many people are leaving the Church for either Evangelical Protestant groups or more traditionalist movements like the SSPX.  Thank you, Bishops, for doing Satan's job for him.  A special shout-out to some of our more notorious bishops and Cardinals that enable evil - you know the ones: Cupich, Gregory, Zurek, and so many others.  These guys are the ones who should be laicized, along with their wingmen such as "Father" James Martin and that priest who molested 9 nuns as well as that other pervert in a collar in Louisiana who desecrated an altar with strippers.  Yet, for some reason, those guys get to run amok while faithful priests like Fr. Frank and Fr. James Altman get cancelled by the hierarchy.  In looking at what is going on, I am reminded of some prophetic things I read from some saints and visionaries in regard to the Church, so let me share those now.  

I want to recommend a book to you that is vital to read, especially in these days - it is Desmond Birch, Trial, Tribulation, and Triumph: Before, During, and After Antichrist (Santa Barbara: Queenship Publishing, 1996).  I know Dr. Birch personally, and he has done a magnificent job in presenting Catholic eschatology in a comprehensive light.  The book is huge (636 pages including the index) and it also is not something you want to do as leisure reading, but rather it provides a ready reference to different things.  In looking up some information about the Great Apostasy, I came across this on page 434 - a sample list of traditional teachings of the Church regarding eschatology.  The second thing on that list was this - a great apostasy or religious defection.  If you pair this with the fourth item on the list - the conversion of the Jews after the "fulness of the Gentiles" - here is the scenario.  Quoting Scripture from II Thessalonians 2:3-5, these are events that precede the Tribulation and the emergence of the Antichrist (Birch, 446). It also follows an Age of Peace, which in Catholic tradition is called the reign of a great Catholic Monarch, but Protestant Dispensationalists flip it on its ear in calling it the Millenium and place it after the Tribulation.  Now, here is where we have a dilemma.  First the Gospel has not yet been preached to all the world, a prerequisite of the Age of Peace.   Second, the Age of Peace has not arrived yet, so what is going on now??  I would have to do more research on this, but I would wager that there are two Great Apostasies, and if that be the case, we are facing one of those now.  Never in the history of the Church has there been so many proverbial tares in the wheatfield, and the tares seem to be overcoming the wheat at this point (see my previous articles on that topic).  In the highest echelons of the Church hierarchy, there are weeds - nasty, evil weeds.  And those weeds are not happy with the wheat that is trying to grow, and thus they want to suck the life out of it and take over the whole field.  This is a huge reason why Fr. Frank gets punished harshly for something that he should not be punished for, while openly heretical "priests" like James Martin, the "Rainbow Jesuit," can go prancing around at "gay pride" parades like a drunk ballerina and he gets rewarded.  It is also why exposing the evils of abortion in a very graphic way as Fr. Frank did is a greater sin to the hierarchs than a pervert like "Uncle Teddy" McCarrick having a Grinder account is.  It is a scandal in the truest sense.  A lot more background could be given on this, but I would recommend two other books for that which can be read at your leisure.  The first is Taylor Marshall, Infiltration (Manchester, NH:  Crisis Publications, 2019), and the second is Michael Rose, Goodbye Good Men (Washington, DC:  Regnery Publishing, 2002).  Both of these books shed light on some of the scandalous behavior of the hierarchy in the Church, ranging from promoting "wokeness" to denying the priesthood to more worthy candidates in preference to degenerates who abuse others sexually.  Therefore, while it is tragic what happened to Fr. Frank (and the fact they did this to him just before Christmas, and now his father passed away - please keep him in your prayers), it also should not be surprising.  This is a fruit of apostasy, and not the root - that runs much deeper.  

The second thing addresses Fr. Frank's placing an aborted baby on the table in his video.  As I understand it, the table he used for this was just a utility table in his office and not a sanctified altar, and although he has celebrated Masses on it, the table is in this case just that - a table.  And, while more "sensitive" people may have found this extreme, I must remind those same individuals that sometimes-extreme actions are necessary due to the gravity of the situation being addressed.  And, if people are offended by what Fr. Frank did, I would challenge them to read some of the lives of the saints, in particular a class of saints in the Eastern Christian tradition called the Yurodivi ("Holy Fools").  The antics of some of these types of saints could easily be dismissed as mental illness - they did some pretty crazy things!  Yet. God used them.  One of them I recall reading about actually slaughtered a goat or something and went to the Russian Czar and threw it on the table in front of him.   This particular czar was not a nice guy and had been massacring people even during the season of Lent.  So, the saint's message to the Czar was simply this - if you are unrepentant about killing innocent people, then go ahead and eat meat during Lent because you are basically going to hell anyway! The lesson was that unless Lenten fasts were taken in the right attitude - contrition and repentance - they were of little use in the larger picture of the salvation of one's soul. It took an extreme action to get the lesson across.  Fr. Frank was not near as extreme as that, or even as some of the Doctors of the Church - remember when St. Athanasius basically smacked the heretic Arius upside the head, and I believe even the beloved St. Nicholas threw some punches at heretics too (which means the character of Santa Claus in the 1988 film Ernest Saves Christmas was probably more authentic than many because one scene has him popping a movie director in the nose for making a movie terrorizing kids).  And, in a culture like ours that has become more jaded and secularized, perhaps a little extremity is necessary because no one listens to reason much anymore.  If you try to reason with the opposition, they will cancel you and ruin you, so more aggressive measures may be warranted.  So, in essence, I do not believe that Fr. Frank did anything wrong with the aborted baby, especially since he also took the effort to provide the little one with a proper burial.  Some have even argued that because the relics of the martyrs are often found in altars, it may have perhaps been justified to have a modern martyr - an aborted child - on display in a holy place too.  I mean, it is a hell of a lot better than occultists do with their human sacrifices - you know, like the ancient Aztecs who ripped beating hearts out of people and then danced around in their flayed skin until it rotted off, but oh, that is OK because it is "cultural appreciation."  The devaluing of human life is an abomination, and Fr. Frank was making people aware of that.  The fact that people were more concerned about a baby on an altar (which was not actually an altar) than they are with the fact that an abortionist murdered that baby speaks volumes too.  And what is worse is that our bishops are either too stupid or too desensitized themselves to get the message.  I think it is time for new bishops. 

To learn more about Fr. Frank's situation, it is best that you learn it from him yourself, so I encourage you to visit his site, www.frfrankpavone.com, and there you will find documentation and other items that will make you more aware of his position.  In the meantime, too, pray for him and other cancelled priests, because they need our support right now.  Thank you for allowing me to share. 

Navigating Rough Waters

 For many of us, 2022 was a rough year, a sort of climax of the previous two years with the pandemic and everything.  What often accompanies that is a feeling of uncertainty about the future, and it is only natural to feel that way.  Keeping this in mind, I wanted to do an end-of-year devotional reflection on that to help others if possible. 

The Bible, as far as I have seen, does not really address an allegory of rapids, but it does talk a lot about stormy seas, and the same idea is conveyed.  Isaiah 43:2, for instance, says "When you face stormy seas I will be there with you with endurance and calm; you will not be engulfed in raging rivers."  A raging river and a turbulent sea represent the same allegory - the storms we face in life.  In the case of a raging river though, there may not be a storm, but rather some treacherous rapids and waterfalls to navigate, and that requires a lot of quick thinking.  Using this verse, I want to talk a little about that. 

The above picture is of Blackwater Falls, which is about 14 miles northeast of my hometown in West Virginia. It is a local tourist attraction, and it is beautiful to look at from a distance.  But, trying to take a boat over those falls would be an act of suicidal stupidity, in that the rocks in that river would break every bone in someone's body if they fell - the likelihood of surviving such an accident would be very low.  As water approaches a waterfall like Blackwater Falls, it creates eddies and rapids that can cause a navigator to lose control of a small boat easily, and thus one is at the mercy of the falls.  However, if one is skilled enough to do it, there is a way to circumvent the danger, and that is by navigating to a nearby riverbank or looking for a channel to navigate in before approaching dangerous currents that would sweep a boat right over those falls.  A channel could be a small creek that flows into the river and would be possibly a detour around the more turbulent waters of the falls, and although the boat may not fit into such a small stream, it would provide a way to descend the elevation the falls flow off of and it would save lives.  It would take somewhat more effort obviously, but it could be done.  There is a very rich lesson in this for us if we know how to see it, especially when we are going through turbulent circumstances in our own lives.  

One important aspect of being able to navigate turbulent waters is to have an experienced person who knows how to find the safe channels and steer out of the currents so we don't get swept over the falls.  As noted in Isaiah 43:2 as shown above, we have that as faithful followers of Christ - we have Christ Himself to guide us.  As a matter of fact, guidance is one of three promises of favor that God gives us in Scripture, and those are as listed:

1. Provision (Philippians 4:19)

2. Protection (Ephesians 6, James 4:7, Psalm 91:4-5)

3. Guidance (Psalm 119:105, Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:5-6)

All of these are interconnected, and they are not promises directly related to the Atonement (there are only two of those I am aware of, salvation and healing) but they are promises given to those who walk in God's grace.  And, although not to be taken to the extremes that some "Word of Faith" TV preachers do for the wrong reasons, they are still promises regardless and we can stand on those.  More than provision and protection though, guidance is the one that should be sought the most, as the others tend to fall in place once we have proper direction.  That can be hard, and I want to address a couple of things about that which I relate to personally. 

One huge problem is time - God transcends time and space, but we are confined to it.  So, when a bill comes due and money is short, we don't have the luxury of time to pay when we feel like it.  And, if you tell your creditors that you are "waiting on the Lord" to give you the money, they will probably recommend you for the loony bin!  That is an example of turbulent waters, and at that point is when we really need God to navigate us so we don't go over the waterfall.  And, that can be scary!  God has the tendency of waiting until the last minute sometimes to give us breakthroughs, and that can be emotionally taxing. But, as he said in Romans 8:28, God works all things together for good, and that warrants trust in his judgment.  In reality, that is easier said than done, but I have learned there are two important lessons in this we need to apply in order to make it easier:

1. Stay focused on what your current responsibilities are.

2. As God has brought you this far, it is only fitting to trust him in this too. 

A second issue I have faced is trying to actually hear God's voice. In times of adversity and challenges, a lot is going on in our heads, and clarity is important to navigate properly.  But, the dilemma is this - God is often a "still small voice," (I Kings 19:11) but he is also not the author of confusion (I Corinthians 14:33).  The challenge I have faced in my own experience is trying to reconcile those two things, and that can be tough!  In many situations, there is no room for error or bad judgment, so you face the dilemma of which "voice" is the voice of God, and how do you get him to turn up the volume so you don't miss it?  In that, we then start to ask for certain things, such as some sign God is hearing us or that he is giving us clearer direction.  This takes a number of forms, such as the example of Gideon with the fleece, or seeing some proof that God is in the situation, much like St. Thomas needed at the Lord's resurrection.  I cannot say whether doing that is right or wrong, because I have done my own seeking like that too, but sometimes it is what we have to work with, and therefore I think God will understand that we are trying to do the right thing.  And, in many cases, he has actually answered me with the direction I needed in that way.  And, there are other times where you will get angry and impatient with God - I can testify for a fact that I have had more than one heated exchange with our Lord over things when I just got to the end of my proverbial rope.  Of course, you do feel bad about it later and if you are consistent in your faith, you will repent of that and I believe God is big enough to handle that - he knows human limitations too and I do not believe he faults us for those even if we can end up being really nasty with him (and I am not too proud to say I have been there too!).  The good thing is that we are not alone - remember Jacob in Genesis 32:22-32?  Jacob had to wrestle with God to get the blessing he needed, and some of us have been there too.  The thing that actually sets the Bible apart from other religious texts is its divine authorship, and the fact that part of that is that often the heroes are shown as pure human beings with normal emotions and limitations - there are no "super-beings" in Scripture outside of Jesus Christ, and Scripture is written in that way to show us that we are not alone.  So, the ultimate gift of guidance is the Scriptures themselves, but sometimes we just need a little more personal guidance that relates specifically to our own circumstances, and God knows that too.  

Navigating rough water requires God's guidance - we need to look to him as our Navigator to steer us into a safe channel to avoid the waterfall, and if we do so, he will be faithful to take care of us and our needs.  Guidance is the foremost need we all truly possess, and in the lesson of the boat on the rough river approaching a waterfall, we learn we have no choice but to rely on God's guidance.  May we always see God as our Navigator, and also listen for clarity of his voice.  Thank you, and have a blessed holiday season.  

The Reality of Spiritual Abuse

 This week, I had a rather tense confrontation with someone I used to consider a friend.  The whole thing was a HUGE misunderstanding on the person's part, and I am still sort of wondering what on earth brought it on.  Essentially, this person had posted on social media that they were selling tickets for some sort of event at a Ukrainian Catholic parish in Florida that I had actually visited a couple of times, and in response to their post I said, "Well, that is neat. Is that such-and-such church on such-and-such street?"  An innocent question, and under normal circumstances a normal person would be like "Why, yes it is!" and maybe engage in some small talk about the parish or something and the mutual experience we shared with visiting there.  However, nothing about this conversation would be normal, as within about 5 minutes after my response on this person's post, I get this nasty, angry email accusing me of putting the parish in danger, etc., etc., etc. But, it got even worse.   Due to some bad experience this person had some years ago, they got into a more mystical/quasi-charismatic form of Catholicism that stressed spiritual warfare, prophecy, and all this other stuff, and the mindset of this person often colors their judgment.  So, when this individual did not feel I "apologized" enough, they went on the attack and all of a sudden they claimed the Holy Spirit was showing them that I had some "sex sin" or something, and they went off on the craziest tangent about that.  I finally had to block the person for harassment on social media, and after that little exchange, I had this eerie feeling because I was there before, years ago.  Many already know that story, but for those who don't, let me give you the "Reader's Digest" version.

When I was in my early 20s, I attended a Pentecostal church of the Foursquare denomination in Midland City, AL.  However, a couple of years into going there, things got bizarre, as the pastor and a number of the laypeople got themselves entangled in "deliverance ministry" and they were reading these bizarre books such as Rebecca Brown's He Came to Set the Captives Free as well as Frank and Ida Hammond's book Pigs in the Parlor.  For those of you who know these books, you are aware that they are written by crackpots who look for demons under their coffee tables and also get off on "personal prophecy" to justify some of the crazy conclusions they reach.  This Foursquare church was into all that, and even would have those iconic bonfires to burn things they thought were "possessed;" one lady would even hold up a T-shirt and say "Look at that - the demon is glaring at me!" and then rebuke it ("in the name of Jesus" of course) and burn it.  After a while, because I didn't conform to their image, I was targeted by this stuff, and it led me to eventually leave that abomination of a church and would aid in my own conversion to the Catholic faith some years later.  In time, that "church" was served justice - they suffered a split, after which the church closed for good, and the pastor retired and later ended up dying of Alzheimer's (which he also claimed was a demon in that church - talk about irony!), and in time the church building was sold to a Hindu community and is now a temple to Shiva or something.  It took many years of recovery for me from that sort of spiritual abuse, and when this person who attacked me yesterday did what they did, it drug up some unpleasant memories.  That is why I wanted to address that here.  

First, let's give some Biblical background of this whole thing.  People who engage in this type of behavior often appeal to certain Scripture passages to affirm their calling, notably Ephesians 4:7 and I Corinthians 12:10. Often, people who subscribe to a more extreme charismatic understanding will point out that the "office of prophet" and the "gift of prophecy" are two different things.  While there are some merits to this, and throughout the history of the Church people have possessed these gifts, in the last couple of hundred years a variety of movements, cults, and denominations have made them central in that "anyone can have the gift of prophecy" whether they do or not, and the potential for abuse is quite high.  I don't know if my former friend claimed to be a prophet or not, but they often bragged about a "gift of discernment" and to be honest, in the time I have known this person I have been a little wary of that, especially since this person also claims to be devoutly Catholic.  And, that leads to some further observations.

The purpose of one of these gifts, if one truly possesses them, is for the edification of the Church as well as evangelistic in some circumstances.  And it goes back to this whole notion of "charismatic," which in Greek is a word that comes from charis, meaning literally "gift."  However, in the context of where that gift comes from, it is also historically understood that these are gifts of grace, meaning we do not do anything to earn them and they really are not to be promoted as a status symbol.  And, the root Greek word charis also related to another Latin word, caritas, and both of these convey that the gift is also given in love (caritas is also the root of the English word charity).  Therefore, the etymology alone of the word charismatic suggests that these gifts are conveyed by God's grace to witness Christ's love.  Prophecy is one of these gifts, and it is something that although not as prevalent as a genuine gift is nonetheless to reflect supernatural grace and divine love.  However, like anything, this is something that can be misused, and sadly it often is, and it has caused damage to the Church on a major scale. Heretical sects, and sincere but misguided individuals like my former friend, not to mention a wide array of opportunistic hucksters, have been the greatest culprits in the abuse of these important gifts, and it is an epidemic in the Church that needs to have attention devoted to it to correct. 

Human beings are limited - a concupiscent nature was given to us at the Fall in the Garden of Eden, and it takes supernatural grace to elevate, heal, and perfect our nature in order to restore us to how God intended.   The problem is that Christians are not yet totally exempt from concupiscence, and oftentimes we even mess up within the context of the Church, and when spiritual gifts are involved it can get downright dangerous.  In my former friend's case, she used her "prophecy gift" or "discernment gift" (still not sure which she claims to have) as a weapon against someone (me) that she was angry with. When that happens, it means that the person exercising the supposed gift is being irresponsible and disobedient with its practice, and may even be seduced by a lying spirit. The enemy loves to corrupt and manipulate things like this in order to cause others to stumble, and it is really sad when it happens within the Church.  Outside of the Church though, it creates a counterfeit which is known as witchcraft or the occult, but within the Church it has another name - Charismatic witchcraft.  Trying to use a supposed spiritual gift to manipulate others to impose one's will - especially when it is falsehoods that are being said - is a classic definition of magic, and is not the operation of the Holy Spirit.  The person committing this atrocity may actually think they are hearing God, and may have the best of intentions, but they are no better than a witch in all honesty.  And, especially when using a gift of grace as a weapon or in anger - that can be very harmful.  The person I had the encounter with did just that, and it was a little unsettling for me as I got creepy feelings from this person that were reminiscent of that Foursquare church in Alabama I experienced in my younger years.  I am older and wiser now and of course I know better, but it is still unsettling when people behave like that.  Now that we established the groundwork, I want to now briefly talk about spiritual abuse and what it entails.  

In my days of experience in that Foursquare church in Alabama, I came across a very good book that was a huge help for me, and it is Ronald Enroth, Churches that Abuse (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992).  On page 29, Enroth gives essentially a definition of what spiritual abuse is when he says it entails psychological and spiritual damage inflicted upon people by those who are considered authorities, such as ministers and other leaders.  They use their position to abuse the authority they are given, and the results can be catastrophic - a violation of trust, a falling away from faith, broken families, and spiritual confusion.  When people are subjected to this, it causes emotional and spiritual scarring that often makes it a struggle to readjust to normal life, and in extreme cases it has even caused death through either direct/indirect action by the abuser or tragically, suicides.  Enroth, who as a sociologist has researched this sort of thing in great detail, notes that there are some major aspects of the abuse that are to be identified:

1. Authority and Power

2. Manipulation and Control

3. Elitism and Persecution

4. Lifestyle and Experience

5. Dissent and Discipline

Using the acronym AMELD, these characteristics may or may not all be present in every group, but they are traits that do show up.  In my former friend's case, there are three of them - 1,3, and 5 on the list.  My former friend claims authority by saying she has the "gift of discernment," then uses manipulation and control to try to impose her "insights" on others, and finally if you resist what she says you are somehow some sort of pariah and hellbound.  The Alabama church had all five of these actually.  Now, here is where we have problems though if one acts like this.  Let me get into that.

If a person has a true spiritual gift, they are not typically going to flaunt it because they know they did not merit it but that God chose them to have it.  So, a legitimate gift is exercised in humility.  Also, if said gift is given, it is for the encouragement and uplifting of others in the Church, and is never to be used as a bludgeoning club against someone you may not like.  Finally, the encouragement or guidance offered by said gift is respective of the free will of the person receiving the manifestation of it - it is given as guidance or encouragement only, and is not something that is punitive or coercive.  God will not strike someone dead who maybe rejects a prophetic word or something, and the Holy Spirit is gentle and not like that at all.  On that note, especially when I personally seek God's guidance, I wish the Holy Spirit's voice was louder, but often it is not.  Another aspect of this too is that the person who possesses such a gift cannot "pull rank" and exalt themselves - if they do, it detracts from the focus of the gift, which is God.  A person who has a spiritual gift or vocation is only a vessel, and they cannot in any way claim status for having a gift or vocation; God has his own reward for his faithful stewards.  Finally, exercising the gift in the right spirit is integral.  A spiritual gift is not a weapon against a fellow human being, and should not be used as such. So, if you possess a gift like discernment or prophecy, check your attitude when claiming to exercise it.  My former friend failed miserably on that last point, and as a result a friendship was sacrificed, and it made them look like a deranged psychopath rather than as a true instrument of God.  On that note, I have a couple of concluding thoughts.

For Catholics, this whole matter takes on a whole new dimension of accountability than it does with our Protestant brethren.  Any spiritual work, just like any doctrine, must be in conformity with both Sacred Scripture and the Magisterial teaching of the Church.  If it fails in that, it is to be rejected outright as being not in line with the Church.  Likewise, while we can appreciate our own accomplishments in some areas, when it comes to spiritual gifts, we cannot assume that we are holier than the Communion of Saints (the Church Expectant in Magisterial teaching).  Their holiness was recognized by others often long after their death, and only when the Church recognizes their charism enough to warrant canonization or beatification, then and only then is the gift considered authentic and valid.  Even the Popes rarely speak ex cathedra about matters (I think that has only happened a few times in the whole history of the Church) so why do these people claiming gifts of this and that think they are so special??  If that were the case, many people the Church recognized as saints over the centuries would be disqualified, as people who claim to have discernment, etc., are actually saying they are holier than the saints, but are they though??  I am not proud enough to admit I sure ain't!!  I have had some supernatural experiences, but here's the thing about those - often those were for myself to give me guidance, and on the rare occasion when they were for someone else, often they were encouraging and were speaking to something that person was experiencing at that moment - timing is crucial too.  However, I never claimed to act as "God's instrument," and if the recipient of my insight was Catholic, I would always encourage them to check out what I said in line with the Magisterium and Scripture, and if something was not right, they could throw it out.  A responsible channel of God's grace should always have the humility to do that.  My friend will eventually learn that I hope, and I hope they do so before it is too late and more damage is done.  

Thank you for allowing me to share a lesson on this, and if you are the victim of spiritual abuse, there are a couple of things to remember.  First, you are not alone - many of us have been there before.  Second, if you are a fellow Catholic, this is something you can address in the confessional too, as it will aid in the healing process to just talk to someone about it.  We must remember, the confessional is not just a place to confess sins - it is also a place of healing, and nine chances out of ten many confessions are probably opportunities for the priest to counsel someone who struggles.  And, we should utilize that, as it does wonders for one's mind and heart.  Of course, if you come from a spiritually abusive background, the confessional will be a tough challenge - you have had your trust betrayed before, and are understandably somewhat skittish about this, but it is OK.  In that case, just talk to someone you feel you can trust - a spouse, a close friend, or even the priest in a less formal setting like the parish office or something. If you talk to the priest in particular, you can tell him about your apprehension about the confessional, and he will counsel you on that too.  As we learned in RCIA and as we read in the Catechism, the priest represents Christ as sort of an ambassador, and when you talk to the priest it is as if you are talking to Christ directly, hence the role of sacramental grace.  That may take some time for you too coming to that realization, so don't worry too much if you have issues at first, as any good priest will understand that too. Of course, the hardest part often is forgiveness.  Let me address that really quick and then I will wrap it up.

That church I told you about I attended in Alabama when I was younger was very abusive, and in all honesty they were indirectly responsible for the breakup of my first marriage.  My ex-wife and I are actually still good friends today because we both understand what happened, and both of us were victims of the same thing in different ways.  I have days I feel really resentful against that bunch of nuts honestly, and it is something I am still working through.  But, I have learned to embrace forgiveness of these people, as in a poetic sort of way they got what they deserved anyway and God took care of that for me. But, it is not healthy to hold onto resentment, and in all honesty I am a little stung by my former friend who attempted to be spiritually abusive to me, but at the same time I pray for their soul and hope they will one day mature in their faith enough to repent of what they have done and maybe get some much-needed help for themselves, as this individual has their own spirituality colored by a negative experience.  The individual in question is a female, and she needs healing and restoration too, as she has done this to other male friends she has had before too and there is a bigger problem under the surface, and she uses her "spiritual gift" as a way to project her own resentment onto others if she is triggered.  I feel sorry for people like her honestly, as their whole religious experience is built upon fear and paranoia and they lack having the joy dimension of their faith.  Until she finds that joy, she will never be complete either.  So, pray for her, and I will as well.

Thank you again for allowing me to share my thoughts, and hopefully this will be an encouragement to someone else.  Blessings until next time. 

  

Student Loans and Forgiveness

 There is an issue I have wanted to tackle for a while, and it is an issue that has a very personal interest to me.  In the past couple of months, the Biden Administration enacted a student loan forgiveness plan that essentially reduces a maximum of $20,000 from a person's total education debt.  Naturally, this has stirred up a little controversy on both sides of the political spectrum.  The Left complains that it hasn't gone far enough, while the Right is complaining that they will be saddled with student debt of others.  However, are either of these a valid concern?  I want to now examine that in some detail and then I have a solution of my own to propose. 

With Biden in office and Democrats having the majorities in both chambers of Congress now, in all honesty the news is not good.  Biden's stupid energy policies as well as the crazy out-of-control spending has placed our nation on the edge of a recession it hasn't seen since Jimmy Carter was in office (Funny how one party causes a lot of financial chaos, isn't it?) .   And, this Ukraine conflict now has caused more issues with our economy.  Add to that the past two years of draconian COVID nonsense, and it is causing a bit of a predicament for most normal Americans.  So, in many ways, perhaps a little relief of student debt isn't such a bad idea.  But, as Republicans point out, eventually this is going to cost somebody, so that means more taxes if the Democrats have anything to say about it.  America is at a boiling point.  At a future point I am going to talk a little about the Ukraine conflict, but for now I want to focus on the student loan relief.

For many of us, student loans are a fact of life - I have been in school over 30 years now myself off and on, and in the pursuit of three degrees (I am in the process of finishing up a Ph.D. now, my terminal degree), and in that time I have amassed a student loan bill of over $200,000.  So, in all honesty, I welcome a little relief!  There are factors involved though which would probably put me at variance with those on both sides of the issue.  So, let me just talk a bit about that. 

There are two foregone conclusions that need to be stated to begin any discussion:

1. No one willingly chooses student loans - often they are an only option

2.  College education has been ridiculously priced for decades.

And, that leads to a third conclusion:

3. The standards and bars are set high for people to have qualifications for jobs, but too many of us don't even get considered by companies. 

Here is the thing.  For decades, college education was encouraged - parents encouraged it, the business community encouraged it, and of course aggressive recruiters at colleges encouraged it.  Many young people, fresh out of high school, were promised the moon on a silver platter if they got a college degree, but once they walk the aisle and can put a BA or BS after their name, often they end up unemployed for years after, and the career counselors at many of these colleges are frankly useless. So, then Corporate America ups the qualifications - good-paying jobs now require Master's degrees, so that means the poor candidate has to do more school and take out more loans to meet that criterion.  So, they walk the aisle again and receive an MA or MS, but the employers still don't call.  Instead, the poor candidate for a job is told they need training in this, or in that, and a professional certificate in this, that, or the other, and that is more money.  At this point, the hopeful college graduate has degrees, but also has amassed a hefty education debt of hundreds of thousands of dollars, but there are crickets when expecting responses from potential employers.  So, without income, the college debt becomes a burden to that person, who also has to eat and keep a roof over their heads and needs to do so often by accepting jobs they are over-qualified for.  Some very well-educated people even end up on the street too, which is tragic.  This scenario is where now I want to address my fellow conservatives who think student loan liability is the fault of the borrower.

While I am definitely a conservative politically, and am very unapologetic about that,  but that does not mean I accept everything conservatives stand for, and this student loan issue is one I have big differences with my fellow conservatives on.  To begin with, some conservatives blame the borrowers, as if they should be punished for going to school and trying to learn something useful.  Yet, the problem with that mentality is this - many people do not have student loan debt by choice, but often that is their only option to get ahead in life.   Many who work hard and excel in obtaining their degrees often do so with little or no support from extended family.  You don't see their families helping them to go to college, nor do you see even any moral support from family members a lot of times.  That makes things more challenging for a student at a university.  They were pushed all their lives to do their best, and they do, but then they get no support and often even outright opposition from family members just because they are trying to better themselves.  This is unfortunate, and unfortunately more so those holding "conservative" values are often the worst offenders.  Here is what they need to hear then - if you didn't invest any encouragement or support into helping someone achieve their dreams, then you need to keep your mouth shut about their student loans and other issues.  If you were not there for that student, you have no right to judge that student, simple as that.  Maybe if you had been, they would not have needed the student loans.   That is something that even some of you reading this now really need to understand and digest a bit.  

Now, let me move onto the employers.  Jobs often have high bars set for potential candidates, and while I understand that the company has a stake in investing in top talent to insure its own success, there is a serious problem.  In setting sometimes unrealistic goals for hiring, many companies screw themselves by looking past talented individuals who could be assets to them.  People who really want these jobs are working hard to get them - that is why they do all the degrees, certifications, and everything else asked of them.  But, after all that work and investment, the poor candidate never hears a word back from an employer, and that can really be crushing for someone.  So, to employers I say this - perhaps instead of treating people as commodities and mere means unto your greedy ends, maybe you should really get to know your candidates to truly assess their talents, and maybe it is the employer who needs to restructure what they do in order to allow talent to blossom and flourish.  If you as an employer set these high educational bars for your candidates, at least have the decency to not disrespect their efforts by throwing their resumes into a trash bin.  And, that being said, let me give one of my proposals for student loan forgiveness.  Big corporations in particular get a lot of tax incentives, so I believe it is time to take some of those away and maybe start charging the corporations penalties for lack of interest in qualified candidates, and these penalties can then be applied toward a better student loan forgiveness program.  Yes, I know - it sounds like a Democrat "tax the rich" scheme, but there is a clarification.  Only the biggest and richest corporations would be subject to such a penalty, and not the small mom-and-pop business endeavors - many of the latter are actually more likely to hire decent people than are the big corporations.  This proposal is not perfect, and this is more or less a draft version of it off the top of my head, but it would solve both the problems of student loan debt as well as employment statistics.  Definitely worth our politicians thinking about. 

I now want to address colleges and universities.  The cost of tuition is the primary impetus for student loans, and the problem is that colleges and universities often inflate tuition prices to ridiculous amounts, and in many cases they are designed to be ridiculously expensive just to qualify for Federal aid.  What is worse is that the students invest all this money, and then they are not even compensated for the education they worked for - employers do not hire them, and the jobs they do get are insufficient to cover the liability of their education costs.  College tuition is something that needs to be more monitored and regulated honestly, as it should be considerably less than what it is.  

Now that I have named the culprits, it is time to give a proposal for a solution.  For one, I believe student loan debt is necessary, but it should not be universal - for those with ability and income to pay their monthly payments, they should do so.  While there are things such as IBR and ISR programs that make payments more affordable and do provide eventual forgiveness, there needs to be something more.  What I propose is actually very common-sense and would more or less give concessions to both sides of the debate.  First, in reducing tuition costs at universities, the liability would be lessened that way.  Also, imposition of penalties upon large corporations for their hiring practices would ensure that graduates would get positions they are qualified for.   Third, for those graduating college, there is already a grace period in place of I believe 18 months maximum with no accumulated interest, and that is a good start.  However, I think an additional benefit should be implemented - if a graduate fails to land a job in that time that is comparable to their qualifications, then there should be an amnesty in place to forgive student loan debt if they are under a certain income threshold.  However, payment agreements should remain in place for those who are able, with a safety net for them as well in case an unforeseen circumstance impairs their ability to pay.  We do have currently in place deferments and forbearances, and those are good for temporary relief and should be still kept in place, but a more long-term solution should be implemented to help those who are really struggling.  This way then, there is not an excessive burden on the taxpayer, nor is there one on the student borrower either.  While there are details to work out on all this, I believe this basic plan will be a good thing for everyone involved. 

And, one final word on this.  The whole universal student loan forgiveness debate, the high cost of tuition at universities, as well as some bad and very inadequate indoctrination by leftist faculty, has caused college education to be viewed very negatively now by conservatives, and that is unfortunate.  I am a bit chagrined for instance at the flippant comments of some toward people who have degrees yet are not hired in jobs they trained for.   Comments such as "well, go flip burgers at MacDonald's to pay your bills" are not only ignorant and stupid, but they are also unrealistic on two levels. First, do you really think that someone who has graduated with honors is going to be happy flipping burgers when they possess either a Bachelor's or a Master's?  My guess is that person probably wanted to move beyond that in the first place, so why should they settle for that just to pay a stupid bill??   Second, do you think that MacDonald's is going to hire a person with a Master's in some field to dump frozen French fries into a basket and stick it into a deep fryer??  More than likely, the word "overqualified" will emerge, and the MacDonald's manager would end up hiring a high school senior or a retiree to do that job.  To suggest that to a college graduate is also simplistic and unrealistic.  I have even heard some prominent "Evangelical Christian" writers - one that comes to mind is a hack named Mary Hunt - say crap like this.  All that being said, let me just end on this note - do not knock people who have education, and also do not be so quick to dismiss higher education.  After all, the doctor that may do open-heart surgery on you one day will have a higher education, not to mention the attorney who may assist you in a legal issue, or the CPA doing your taxes, etc.  While those are more practical examples, we also need dedicated and educated people to preserve our civilization - good educators, clergy, philosophers, etc., are integral to civilization.  That is why we do not want to dismiss higher education in general.  While it is not meant for everyone, higher education is still integral, and it must be encouraged.  A way to encourage it would be to reform both the tuition system at universities and colleges as well as the whole student loan issue.  Thank you for allowing me to share. 

Review of Taylor Marshal, "Antichrist and Apocalypse"

 It has been a while since I have done a review on a book here, but I was sort of invited by the author to do so and I am mentioned in the acknowledgements of this book.  The book is entitled Antichrist and Apocalypse: The 21 Prophecies of Revelation Unveiled and Described (Colleyville, TX: St. John Press, 2022).  It is a well-written book overall, and I am honored to be one of the people Dr. Marshall chose to review it.  There are a couple of things to discuss about it, and I will get to those momentarily, but first let me introduce Dr. Taylor Marshall to you.

Dr. Marshall, a native of Texas, is a former Anglican priest who, in the early 2000s I believe, converted to the Catholic Church and has since become a very influential voice for the more traditional type of Catholicism - he is pro-Traditional Latin Mass, he is very conservative, and to be honest I hold many of the same convictions he does on so many things.  He has written several other books, most notably Infiltration, which is an update in many aspects of Michael Rose's 2002 book Goodbye Good Men.  He also has a podcast on YouTube and some other platforms, and much of what he says is actually quite informative but also somewhat concerning as he exposes a lot of weird stuff going on in the Catholic hierarchy. As a traditional Catholic writer, Dr. Marshall is actually very sound, is faithful to the historic Magisterium, and he also does not pull punches when tackling serious issues of concern to the Catholic faithful.  This latest book is essentially a study on the book of Revelation in Scripture, and it is sort of rare to see this type of book among traditional Catholics.  There have been other great studies of both Revelation and eschatology from sound Catholic writers (two of the best, in my estimation, are Scott Hahn's The Lamb's Supper and Desmond Birch's Trial, Tribulation, and Triumph), but this particular volume may strike a chord with potential converts from Pentecostal or Fundamentalist backgrounds, as it deals with issues they are more familiar with.  That being said, I want to talk at length about two areas in the book that caught my attention.

The first has to do with Dr. Marshall's identification of antichrist prototypes he notes in Scripture.  This one was actually quite puzzling to me, in that beginning on page 230, Marshall identifies King Solomon as a prototype of the Antichrist!  That was a new one for me, and I would respectfully disagree for reasons I will get into momentarily.  First though, what reasoning does Dr. Marshall use for this?  On page 231, he notes a few things that provide substantiation in his argument about Solomon: 

1. Jewish and a son of King David

2. Born of fornication (product of David's affair with Bathsheba)

3. Allowing idols and false worship

4. Building the Temple

5. Extent of kingdom

6. Some rabbinic traditions call Solomon a "magician" and "sorcerer."

7. The fact his tribute was 666 talents of gold

First, while most of these facts are true about Solomon, it in no way infers he was a typology of the Antichrist. Scripture is filled with examples of otherwise holy men falling into temptation and sin - it is called human nature.  The sin is not to be the focus of these examples, but rather God's plan and redemptive grace.  Another point that Dr. Marshall might consider is this - Solomon is credited with writing at least three books of Scripture (Proverbs, Song of Songs, and Ecclesiastes).  Now, common sense will dictate that God is not going to use an antichrist to write his inspired Scripture!  That would be counterproductive honestly in God's sovereign plan.  Now, had Dr. Marshall said something like the Antichrist would imitate Solomon in some areas, that would have been different. Satan is said in Scripture to appear as an "angel of light," and he does corrupt certain things to deceive people, so I am not opposed to the idea that the Antichrist may mirror some of Solomon's actions, but it is very risky to call a traditional author of books of Scripture an "antichrist."  Now, was Solomon perfect?  Not at all - neither was King David, but God himself called David "a man after his own heart."  Neither was Moses - a simple act of disobedience kept Moses from entering the Promised Land.  And neither were the Apostles even - the disagreements between Saints Peter and Paul are well documented in Scripture, and they are there for people to read in plain language.  Were King David, Moses, and Saints Peter and Paul prototypes of Antichrist?  Not at all, and neither was Solomon.  Therefore, I would part company with Dr. Marshall on that one.  But, there is one prototype of the Antichrist in Scripture, and I noted that Dr. Marshall didn't even examine this, but I will briefly here.  

If one turns to Genesis 10:8-12, there is a description of an individual who almost looks superhuman, and Tradition holds there is a reason for that - he was probably a Nephilim.  He is described in the above passage as "the first on earth to be a mighty man. He was a mighty hunter before the Lord."  The person we are talking about here is called Nimrod in Scripture, and all traditional accounts of this individual suggest that he was the first leader of a vast empire.  The attributes given to this individual almost match those of the Antichrist in Revelation, more so than Solomon does. I dealt with this more in detail in my Genesis study I have on this site from a couple of years ago, but it bears mentioning here.  I personally believe the Antichrist will be some form of the same spirit that embodied Nimrod. While he may emulate some of Solomon's achievements, he will be no Solomon.  I think for those who read this section of Dr. Marshall's book, this should be kept in mind. 

Another area of interest here regards how Dr. Marshall interprets Gog and Magog, which are the subject of Ezekiel 38.  On page 103 of Dr. Marshall's book, he makes Gog and Magog the same as the Antichrist and his armies, based on the "red horse" passage in Revelation 6:3-4.  This whole Gog and Magog discussion has been one discussed in regard to eschatology for decades honestly, and most people get it very wrong. For years, as an example, many Fundamentalist and Pentecostal dispensationalists said that this was a reference to Russia, largely due to the Soviets during the Cold War, so it was politically motivated.  Some still carry on that mythos, now saying Putin is the identification of Gog and Magog.  I dealt with this issue several years back in an article I wrote in a magazine I briefly published, and there are a few clarifications to make.  First, "Gog" is a person, while "Magog" is a place.  Second, "Gog" is not a proper name, but rather a title that corresponds to the concept of chief or king.  Third, the location just does not correspond with Russia at all - as a matter of fact, it seems as if the location is east of Russia.  Fourth, many scholars and commentators of all Christian traditions have traditionally understood the Gog/Magog phenomenon is distinct from the Antichrist, and even preceding Antichrist.  With all that established, let me now give you my idea of what this possibly could be. 

I have researched this myself for many years honestly, both as a Protestant and after my own conversion to Catholicism in 2000.  I have read widely on this subject from a variety of sources, the most relevant to me being the late Greek Orthodox theologian Apostolos Makrakis, as well as medieval Armenian visionaries.  In reading these, there is one thing that sticks out prominently - people started writing about this topic between the years 1200 and 1500, and that corresponds with several things - the Mongol invasions, as well as the rise of the Seljuk and later Ottoman Turks.  There are countless references from these early writers that equate the "land of Magog" with the ancestral homeland of the Turks in central Asia.  In all honesty, that actually makes much more sense than both the Evangelical dispensationalist fixation with Russia or even Dr. Marshall's equating Gog/Magog with the Antichrist. And, given the recent souring of relations between the current Turkish dictator Erdogan and the nation of Israel, I am starting to think I may be proven correct as that is exactly what Ezekiel 38 talks about.  I am also honest enough to admit I could be wrong, and perhaps with further research I may discover something else, but in all honesty I have believed this for close to 25 years now, and no evidence has come forth to change my mind on it yet.  Therefore, while I appreciate what Dr. Marshall is proposing, at the same time the facts just do not add up on that.  

In all honesty, those were really the only two areas of disagreement I would have with Dr. Marshall's thesis, as for the most part I have been reading everything else he's written and it more or less does mirror my own conclusions on the issues.  Also, these two areas are not really something that are cardinal mistakes - Dr. Marshall just has a different conclusion, and although I do not agree with it I respect it because it shows he is studying what he says, and there is no fault in that at all.  I would strongly recommend Dr. Marshall's book, and it is definitely an important work for us as Catholics to examine at this juncture.  For too many years, the market was dominated with Fundamentalist and Pentecostal Protestant volumes on this topic, and to be honest, a lot of those were proven wrong - Hal Lindsay's Late Great Planet Earth, for instance, is now sadly outdated.  Even my distant cousin Perry Stone, who wrote that the Antichrist would be an Islamic Mahdi, was writing more about the political climate of the times (this was right after 9/11) than substantial Scriptural research over the centuries.  This is why in many aspects, even if one disagrees with the conclusions, Dr. Marshall's book is actually refreshing. However, if you are going to embark on a study of Revelation, it would be prudent to utilize his book alongside others such as Desmond Birch's or Scott Hahn's, keeping in mind the traditional four-fold hermeneutic - read for the Literal, Allegorical, Moral, and Anagogical senses of Scripture, and understand that all four of these can be true at once.  Thank you, and may you be blessed as you go about your daily business.

Melancholy and Openness

 As I write this today, it has been a while since I have posted much - a lot has been going on.  My doctoral work, for one thing, takes up a lot of time, and I have also been dealing with personal matters.  My mother, Daisy Thrower, passed away on March 28 of this year.  After suffering a fall due in part to a stroke she had in December, Mom's health had been in decline for several months.  This entailed several visits to the hospital as well as an extended rehab stay in a nursing facility in nearby Boonsboro.  With the passing of a parent, for those of us who have experienced it you know it is inevitable, but it still creates a shock when it happens, and this did.  After she passed on March 28th, I made the arrangements and had her buried with the VA's help on April 7th in a beautiful cemetery, Rocky Gap Veteran's Cemetery, just east of Cumberland.  One of the reasons for writing this today is that after a couple of months it is all finally sinking in, and I am feeling it immensely today.  There are a couple of insights about this I want to share as they are important to the story itself. 

For those of us who were in high school during the mid-1980s, it was still a time when network TV was still the primary mode of entertainment - this was before Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube, and many people were still having to watch TV with either conventional cable or with an aerial antenna.  For those of us with the latter, that meant that channels to watch were extremely limited, and usually there were 3-5 local channels to choose from.  During this time, it was also the era of the epic mini-series, which was a multi-part movie based on a novel.  Many of those were really good, but three that ABC aired then are of particular significance because they were my favorites.  The first was the John Jakes novel North and South, which ended up being a three-part miniseries that aired between 1985 and 1994.  The second were sequel series, based on Herman Wouk's two books Winds of War and War and Remembrance.  These mini-series were top-notch productions, with all-star casts (Robert Mitchum had the starring role in the second, and Patrick Swayze in the first) and authentic sets - War and Remembrance in particular ended up being the most expensive film ever produced, at what amounted to $253 million in today's economy.  However, the effort was excellent, and the movies are masterpieces of modern cinema - nothing has come close to them since honestly.  Over the years, I have re-watched these several times, as I own them on DVD, and I always come away with how powerful those films really were.  War and Remembrance in particular always leaves a powerful impression on me, and over the past week I just re-watched it again and doing so coincided with a lot of personal things I am grappling with, and I will be talking about that momentarily.    First though, given that this is from a theological and philosophical perspective, I wanted to just do a short reflection based on what I am about to talk about. 

In the Psalms, King David faced times when he felt overwhelmed - the feeling of loneliness, of uncertainty, and of just loss is a part of the human condition - in Psalm 38 for instance, he writes "my friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stands far off."  Then there is the entire story of Job - he was in a bind himself, but never lost hope.  You wonder how that can be, but having been there and even experiencing this now, the answer is simple - I have no one else to turn to but God.  It is during those times, when one feels a heaviness and even is kept awake at night, that all one desires is a shoulder to cry on, or just to be embraced by someone who is just there - we often don't have that, and so we have to rely on God.  If one has a pet, they also can sense that something isn't right, and surprisingly they can be a great comfort - my little tortoiseshell cat, for instance, soothes me when I feel a bit under that strange magenta haze; hearing her purr while gently petting her is comforting; it isn't the same as a close friend's or spouse's shoulder to lean on, but it helps.  Now that I have described the feeling - which I am sure some can relate to - I want to now address what I call "triggers" that evoke it.

When you go through a lot of things hitting you at once, oftentimes you are just too busy to notice that it has an effect.  However, at some point, the realization begins to sink in, and that is when it can be really heavy on one's spirit.  For me recently, it took a trigger to evoke the uncertainty and other feelings I have had for months, and that is where War and Remembrance comes in.  In re-watching that last week, there is one aspect of a movie that many overlook, as at times it is often forgettable - the soundtrack music.  Soundtracks can be good, most are not-so-good, but on occasion a soundtrack to a film is so poignant that if it hits you at the right moment, it will evoke something.  The soundtrack to both Winds of War and War and Remembrance consists of music composed by Emmy Award-winning composer Robert Cobert (1924-2020).  Cobert was a gifted composer, and what he did with the soundtrack for these movies is nothing short of phenomenal, as they are the best film scores ever.  The music itself is evocative emotionally, as it fits perfectly with the scenes in the films, and the beauty of the score is something you just don't see anymore in film soundtracks (James Horner was also another one of those excellent soundtrack composers too).  The reason that this is important is that for some reason I felt compelled to re-watch both Winds of War and War and Remembrance at a time I was processing grief and uncertainty, much of which I have not shared with any living soul aside from God himself.  In talking about this, there is a certain lesson entailed I want to talk about now.

Going back to Aquinas, there are three transcendental properties of being which are not only associated with having their source in God, but indeed God is seen as the fulness of all three - those are Truth, Beauty, and Goodness.  The creative aspects of the arts really should bring alive those attributes, and music is no different.  The eminent conservative philosopher Sir Roger Scruton talks about this at length in his book The Aesthetics of Music when he talks about the German term Einfulung, which is a type of empathy entailed with interaction by a person with a piece of art.  As he notes, this entails two aspects, the first being a more "subjective" state of mind, and the second being the effect on the mental state of the observer, revealing a form of knowledge contained in each - the observer enters into, in some respects, to the subject of the piece's point of view (Sir Roger Scruton, The Aesthetics of Music {New York: Oxford University Press, 1997}: 360-364). As he further notes, the expressive and ineffable go together, and the observer enters into the recognition of expression that is a continuation of imaginative activity which aids in giving a unique understanding to how the music is interpreted. What is odd about this, however at least in my experience, is that a piece of music may evoke a different imaginative vision than the composer's, and thus take on a whole new dimension to the listener that maybe the composer never intended, which is fascinating.  In other words, music is a powerful stimulus for evoking things, and the chords of a symphonic work or a film score can impact us in a way that the composer may not have anticipated, and that leads to something profound in the listener.  When the life circumstance of a listener is figured into the equation, the profundity of impact is more pronounced. That leads to something else about one of the transcendental properties, Beauty.

At times, the concept of Beauty that society conveys often wrongly equates it with happiness, but in reality, beauty can be sad too, and sad beauty is an experience that will really reach into the depths of the most sphynx-like of human souls.  God, as the source and embodiment of Beauty, often uses this to draw us closer to him, and at times he uses the most unlikely of things.  God does not just speak through things published in hymnals as far as music is concerned, as truly great music ultimately has him as its source, and the the fact he endowed human beings with creative ability means that even the most personally debased individual is capable of producing something of profound beauty.  This is why, when I was growing up, I often had a huge issue with the ultra-conservative Pentecostal mindset I had to deal with regarding my family and some churches in my younger years.  They seemed to labor under the delusion that the only "acceptable" music to listen to had to either come out of hymnals or was the chart-topping Southern Gospel hit of the day just because a "Jesus" or two was thrown in.  What such short-sighted individuals failed to understand, however, is that God is the source of beauty even in the natural world, and thus a humanity created in His image could produce things of beauty even when not in direct relationship with him.  Growing up in adverse conditions as I did as a matter of fact, I attribute God to giving me a love for vintage big band records at an early age, when most of my peers were listening to stuff like KISS or Michael Jackson.  The richness of that music helped shape me, and it kept me at a level to where I was not really subject to more destructive aspects of peer pressure.  And, big bands are not Gospel music and hymns by any stretch, but God used that interest to bring me to where I am now.  In other words, not all secular or non-religious music is bad.  If we said it was, we would actually be slapping God in the face by saying somehow his creation is not up to our standards, which is stupid.  Therefore, it is very possible to have a genuine emotional response to a piece of music such as Katchaturian's Valse Masquerade, Sibelius's Finlandia, Stravinsky's Le Sacre du Printemps, Shostakovich's Seventh Symphony, Copland's Appalachian Spring, or the phenomenal recordings of artists such as Mario Lanza. Into that group I would also include Cobert's film scores to Winds of War and War and Remembrance.  This is where I want to tell the story of my experience now.

Over the past few years I have been challenged with a lot of things - a divorce, the death of both of my parents, and some financial challenges brought on due to COVID and other factors.  I have been somewhat uncertain about so many things lately that it has been very hard to process things, but as I said earlier, at some point reality does start to sink in, and when it does it can be overwhelming.  That happened to me last night.  As I mentioned, I had just finished re-watching both Winds of War and War and Remembrance over the past week, and in doing so, again those movies made a powerful impact. Late last night, as I was pondering some things, the haunting melody sequence of those films came into my mind, and it merged with the concerns and apprehensions I have had in recent weeks.  As if all at once, all of a sudden the reality of Mom's recent passing hit me like a ton of bricks, as well as a few other things that have been on my mind, and as that melody from the films was going through my mind also, something happened - a heaviness and a sadness descended upon me, and it actually caused me to have emotion during my morning prayers.  The tender melancholy of the tune from the film score really hit me deep in my soul, and it brought to the surface how I was feeling.  At that moment, I actually desired a shoulder to just cry on, as the reality of everything just knocked the proverbial wind out of my sails.  Not knowing what else to do, I picked up my tortoiseshell cat Lily and just held her - she began purring and rubbing on me, and that was soothing.  Never underestimate the therapeutic benefits of having a pet; they do become precious companions in times like that.  At  that point, I just decided to open up to God, and for the first time in a while I was able to just talk - no one else was in the room, and all that was there was me, my two cats, and the Lord.  I believe he ordered all this for a reason, in that often he moves upon people in unexpected ways.  It was no accident then that I chose to re-watch one of my all-time favorite epic movies, but who would have thought God would use the soundtrack music of that film to touch my heart and bring me to a place where I could open to him about really what was burdening me?  I still feel a little of that heaviness, but to be honest, the soft beauty of that movie score has a certain comfort to it too.  I still have uncertainty about what is going to happen, and I also am starting to really miss my parents' presence now, as the realization is setting in that they are gone, and it is an overwhelming feeling.  But, it feels good knowing that God hears me, as do others who I know are praying for me too, and I cannot stress how thankful I am for dedicated prayer warriors who intercede for me - they do not know everything about what I am experiencing (to be honest, I cannot articulate a lot either) but their prayers do help me.  That being said, I wanted to just share a couple of other thoughts.

Being both a typical guy and also a native West Virginian, at times I come across like a sphynx emotionally - I share that in common with the character Admiral Victor "Pug" Henry from Wouk's novels.  I am not an emotionally expressive person, but I also do have human limitations as we all do.  In order for something to grow at times, it has to be watered by torrential rains in a storm.  The storms of life water the seeds of blessing, and without the tears of sadness at times, the blessing does not get watered.  The seed can fall on the most fertile of soil, but if it is not properly irrigated, it will not grow.  Often, when we are on the verge of a new beginning, something will happen to maybe break us so that we can shed the junk we have been holding onto through tears of sorrow, and it is at that point the gentle hand of the Lord comes and caresses us - He is our shoulder to cry on when we think we have no one else.  And, He uses things that we would never expect to make the breakthrough - in my case, it was a poignantly beautiful film score.  I needed to write this today for several reasons.  One, I am a human being just like all of you reading this - I face sorrows, uncertainties, and adversities, and there are limits I reach at times and need to just release things to God's hands.  Secondly, in writing it, I am hoping to encourage others who may read this because I know I am not the only one facing things in life - we all need that loving hand to reach out to us, and consider this mine reaching out to you.  Third, never dismiss or discard unlikely sources of inspiration, as the natural world is God's creation too and he can use anything to reach out to us and let us know he is there.  Finally, do not think you have to be a stone fortress of no emotion or a happy-go-lucky "Pollyanna:" you are a human being, and sadness is a part of the human experience too, and there is nothing wrong with just letting it go and even shedding some tears once in a while - we men need to understand that better. One of the most beautiful liturgies of the Church, the Armenian Divine Liturgy of Komitas Vartabed, even reflects melancholy - Komitas was an Armenian priest who was so psychologically damaged by the atrocities of the Turks during the Armenian Genocide that he ended up in an asylum in France where he spent his final days, yet this liturgy is one of the most profound in that it expresses "beauty in sadness" yet also exalts Christ.  We as Christians need to understand profundity again, as well as a concept that the Russians understand as Umilenie, that being an emotional response that defies words and often is expressed by the near-shedding of tears.  Tears are produced in adversity, pain, and grief, but they provide nourishment to the seeds of new beginnings most of the time.  Likewise too, Jesus shed His Blood and tears to bring the greatest blessing of all - the salvation of our souls and eternal life.  We receive it at conversion, and it is a grace (and an act of love) He gives us in the Sacraments too.  May that be our "Easter Revelation" this year as we continue to celebrate this season of the Resurrection.